1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if Ifail to get the position .
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out ofthe office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have receivedanything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brainremoved so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails yousend me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient andyour mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in yourmessage.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection andis unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer andtry sending again.'
( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuingsystem. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive areply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait byyour PC for my response.
10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't botherto leave me any messages.
11: I've run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:
12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medicalreasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ' Loretta' instead of 'Steve '
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