PYAR TO HAMKO BHI KARNA THA,LEKIN BAAT KHAS HUI NAHI,
TAJMAHAL TO HAMKO BHI BANWANA THA,LEKIN AFSOSS KI LOAN PASS HUI NAHI…..!!!
DEKHA TUJHE TO ROOH KHUSH HO GAYI,EK KAMI THI VO BHI PURI HO GAYI,
PAGAL HAIN VO LOG JO KEHTE HAIN KI,CHIMPANZI KI AAKHRI NASAL KAHIN KHO GAYI!!
MERE DIL, JIGER, KIDNEY, LIVER HO TUMWAQT-BEWAQT AAYE VO FEVER HO TUMDOOB KAR JISME MARR JAOO VO RIVER HO TUMMERE JEEVAN MEIN AB TO FOREVER HO TUM…
SHAAM HOTE HI YE DIL UDAAS HOTA HAITOOTE KHWABOO KE SIWA KUCH NA PASS HOTA HAITUMAHRI YAAD AISE WAQT BOHAT AATI HAIBANDAR JAB KOI AAS-PAAS HOTA HAI..
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
ULTIMATE TRUTHS
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy. The road to success…….. is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.
If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side. Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule. If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late. Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate. If you have paper, you don't have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don't have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students----If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance. All Govt buses are crowded.Corollary--- -- The Govt buses in opposite direction always go empty. The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other. If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight. The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits. Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.
If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side. Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule. If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late. Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate. If you have paper, you don't have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don't have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students----If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance. All Govt buses are crowded.Corollary--- -- The Govt buses in opposite direction always go empty. The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other. If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight. The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits. Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.
The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if Ifail to get the position .
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out ofthe office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have receivedanything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brainremoved so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails yousend me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient andyour mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in yourmessage.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection andis unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer andtry sending again.'
( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuingsystem. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive areply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait byyour PC for my response.
10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't botherto leave me any messages.
11: I've run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:
12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medicalreasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ' Loretta' instead of 'Steve '
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out ofthe office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have receivedanything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brainremoved so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails yousend me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient andyour mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in yourmessage.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection andis unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer andtry sending again.'
( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuingsystem. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive areply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait byyour PC for my response.
10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't botherto leave me any messages.
11: I've run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:
12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medicalreasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ' Loretta' instead of 'Steve '
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